“Courage, hard work, self-mastery, and intelligent effort are all essential to a successful life.”
– Theodore Roosevelt, former US president
What do you think when you hear the term self-mastery? You might picture a martial arts master – calm, focused, and in control at all times. Or, perhaps someone who has their life planned and in control of their future. So do you think you show these traits on a regular basis and do you feel in control of your career and your goals? Even if we don’t think of it as “self-mastery,” many of us would like to take more control of our actions and emotions.
In this article, I will examine what self-mastery really is and take a look at what we all can do to develop it within ourselves.
So what is Self-Mastery?
When we have good self-mastery, we have the ability to control ourselves in most situations and move forward consciously and steadily toward our goals. You know what your purpose is and are disciplined enough to do things in a deliberate, focused, and meaningful way.
Self-mastery also means mastering your emotions, impulses, and actions. We can also call this “self-discipline” and vital if you want to achieve your goals in life. Think about people you know who don’t have any self-mastery. Perhaps they are impulsive and rash? They may also let their emotions control them, shouting at colleagues when they’re angry. Then being overly polite to make up for it later. They can be unpredictable and, as a result, we tend to see them as untrustworthy.
When you demonstrate self-mastery at work, you prove to your colleagues that you have the strength and steadiness needed for effective leadership. So it’s well worth the effort to invest time in improving your self-mastery. You will likely become a happier, more balanced person – and you never know what opportunities may arise because of this.
Developing Self-Mastery
Self-mastery is a broad term that covers many aspects of your personal and professional life. Improving your self-mastery can mean working on many of these areas. If so, it may be best to focus on one or two at a time so you don’t become overwhelmed with it all.
Look at the following areas of your life to develop self-mastery:
Goals
Self-mastery starts with a vision of how you want your life to be. Think about people you know who have incredible self-discipline. Chances are that they know exactly where they want to go in life, and this vision gives them the strength to get there.
This is why it’s so important to start with a clear vision of your short-term and long-term objectives. Learn how to set personal goals, and get into the habit of moving towards these every day. The clearer you are about what you want to achieve in life, the easier it is to move forwards calmly and confidently.
Attitude and Emotions
Your attitude and emotions play a major role in self-mastery. Those who show strong self-mastery don’t let their emotions control them – they control their emotions. Focus on something constructive and positive every day. Try to exercise gratitude for things and aspects of your life. Even if it’s just something like the fact that you do a job you enjoy, or that the weather is beautiful on your drive to work. Having gratitude and a positive outlook will set the tone for the rest of your day.
Resist the temptation to blame yourself when things go wrong. Self-sabotage is a quick and cruel way to bring yourself down and stop yourself from reaching your true potential. If you find that you’re undermining yourself, consciously make yourself stop. Instead, think of something more encouraging.
You can also change negative thinking with cognitive restructuring. Write down the situation that is causing your negative thoughts. Next, write down the emotions you feel, and list the “automatic thoughts” you have while experiencing these emotions. Then, list the evidence that supports these negative thoughts, and the evidence that refutes them. Finally, list some fair, balanced, objective thoughts about the situation.
Being able to manage and control your emotions helps you build emotional intelligence. This is the awareness of other people’s needs and emotions, and the knowledge of how your own emotions affect those around you. Those who have good self-mastery are always aware of others, and they work hard to make sure that their emotions don’t negatively impact other people.
Willpower
Think about how many times you’ve set a goal and, for one reason or another, never followed it through because of lack of willpower. It has happened to all of us often leaving us feeling ashamed or disappointed that we did not achieve what we wanted.
Willpower is an essential part of self-mastery. It’s what pushes you forward to take action, even if you’re feeling fear or hesitation. Willpower is also what keeps you moving toward your goals in the weeks or months ahead. To boost your willpower, make sure you have both rational and emotional motives for what you want to achieve. For example, if your goal is to limit your time online at work time, a rational motive could be that it’s against company policy. While an emotional motive could be that other people will lose respect for you when they see that you are not doing your fair share of daily tasks. For many of us, willpower comes in short bursts and is often strongest when we first decide to take action or make a change.
So, use your initial burst of willpower to change your environment so that it supports your efforts to reach that goal. For instance, imagine that your goal is to improve your self-confidence at work. In the beginning, when your willpower is strong, you could focus on changing the environment in your workplace. Try making a list of everything that hurts your self-confidence. You could also create a plan for overcoming those obstacles, and post affirmations that provide reminders about your goal.
After a week or so, you might find that your willpower is not as strong. However, as you have changed your environment, you are better prepared to continue toward your goal. All because you have a firm foundation already in place.
Focus
Improving your focus is also key to self-mastery. For instance, how much time do you waste during your workday? How much time do you spend online, talking casually with colleagues, or making tea or coffee? What would you accomplish if you fully used the eight hours available to you? Start by working on your concentration. Focus on one task at a time, and slowly increase your level of focus.
At first, you may find that you can’t concentrate on a task for more than one hour at a time before you get tired and distracted. Try to increase this to two hours by adding 15 minutes of focused work every day. This will allow you to gradually strengthen your focus to two-hour stretches. Then even more if that is what you require to get things done.
Lastly……….
Achieving self-mastery takes time and hard work, but it’s definitely worth the effort. It’s best to work on one or two areas at a time. Start by identifying your life and career goals. Then, focus on maintaining a positive attitude during the day.
Try not to let negative emotions impact anyone else. Other strategies, such as building willpower and strengthening your focus, will help to ensure that you keep moving forward toward your goals. All the while further building your control and self-mastery.